…this mess will never end. I am alone. I have no support system, even though I’m living with my mom. The fact that I had to move in with my mom is depressing enough. I try to keep my mind off of things, but no matter what, I come back to the realization that things wont change, my problems aren’t solvable, and I still wish my life was over.
Today, a bill collector for my student loans calls my mother and tells her that I told her that she would pay for it, which is something uncharacteristic of me. I already hate acknowledging my financial setbacks, so why would I push them off on someone else, then not tell them. Regardless, my mother now thinks I’m a manipulative and deceptive person.
Nobody likes me. Really. I have maybe two people that still talk to me since I’ve moved. I text and message others, but its like I’m someone they never knew. Apparently, my personality and my bipolar is an extreme turn off. I wish for something better, and I try to stay positive, but I doubt better will come.
I need help. But nobody is here to help me.
I am so glad you are blogging again. I was so worried about you. Moving is a major adjustment with the honeymoon period and then the inevitable feeling of lost. This coupled with everything else must be overwhelming! Moving and even long vacations can feel manic for me, though I think I enjoy them both. I wonder what that is all about?
Anyway, I just wanted you to know you are not all alone. I am sending you positive energy and websites too. Check out, http://ephphatha3.blogspot.com/ She talks a bit about mental health and http://www.blogs.com/topten/top-10-mental-health-blogs/.
Stay positive, tomorrow’s another day.
Thanks for the positive energy and the links. I will definitely check them out. I’m taking everything one day at a time, and trying to keep my cool. Hope all is well out your way. And thanks for keeping in touch!