These past few weeks have been rough on me. I’ve been struggling to find myself amiss a ton of chaos at home, and in a foreign city. It’s still early, so I can’t say its been a complete success or disaster, but I can say that it has been stressful. So stressful that I find myself drinking more and more alcohol, and not realizing it.
This past Saturday, I managed to down 3 drinks in a 30 minute span, and maintained that I was completely sober. Except for the fact I nearly got into 2 fights. If it wasn’t for me being with a group of people, I probably would have ended up in a cell or with a black eye. I completely made a fool of myself. And all I can remember are the few fragments of text left between twitter and various text messages sent throughout the night.
Needless to say, I spent all of Sunday cooped up in my room, alternating between embarrassment, self awareness, and a mild hangover.
Today, I was referred to a counselor by my neurologist. It was perfect timing; since questions regarding mental illness do weigh in when referring to neurological symptoms. Hopefully I can get in soon; I think therapy is the last line of defense before a relapse into another breakdown, this time with alcohol abuse.
